::nuculer

17 11 2006

I sincerely beleive that the North Koreans and Iranians are pretending to have a nuclear weapons program just so they can chuckle every time they hear the President say “nuculer.

Not an original idea, I know, but mine’s, nevertheless.

WTF?

My lovely and talented internet buddy RSM wrote a post today about trading barbs with her brother over the mispronouciation of common words, and that got me thinking, and so far today, out of my funk.

Back in the dark days of 1999, I had a girlfriend whose aunt had recently moved back from South Carolina.  She was small town white trash, but she was a nice enough person in that “good folk” sort of way.

She and my girlfriend’s mother, at the time a recent widow, would drink Miller Genuine Draft and eat cheddar cheese Goldfish out by the pool in their bikinis, getting drunk and talking about flirting with the Sporting Goods clerk at Wal-Mart. 

Really.

Anyway.  Focus, damnit.

My girlfriend’s aunt had a great Southern drawl, although that was pretty typical for Floridians.  What stood out, and always made me bite my tongue to not laugh out loud, were two words.

Yours

and

Mine

Were actually

Yourn

and

Mine’s

I asked once, for clarity, about the apostrophe.  She looked at me like I didn’t have sense to come in during  a nuculer attack, and wrote it down.  “Mine’s” was scratched down on the paper in very deliberate, child-like handwriting.

About 10 minutes later, they were out by the pool again, lounging in their bikinis, beers side by side.

My thank-the-gods-she-didn’t-turn-out-to-be-mother-in-law reached for one of those ice cold MGDs, and grabbed the wrong one.

“Hey!” I heard through the open window, “That’s not yourn!  That beer in mine’s!”

We should have let the South go.

kisses,

jimbo

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One response

19 12 2006
Lalena

Nucular. Kills me. Every time. My eyes turn red and my ears give off steam.

As the president of my college’s Model United Nations club (OMG! What a geek! Next you are going to tell me that you played D&D! Ahem) I had frequent opportunity to hear the word pronounced correctly and to mock any of my peers who said it wrong. So, to hear it from the dumbass President of the country in which I am more than slightly embarrassed to live lo these 6 years is just mind rendingly tortuous. Give me back our verbose player Clinton any day…

I hate “axed”, too. As in “I axed him for a pencil.”

And, acrost.

And, anytime people mention Jesus without irony. Although that is more of a misappropriation than a mispronounciation.

Love you

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